Home Published Writing Business Column: ‘Gluttony’ is my middle name

Column: ‘Gluttony’ is my middle name

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Published South Jeff Journal, January 2015

By Heather Berry

There’s this quote familiar to just about every woman who has ever been on a diet.

So, let’s just say it’s familiar to every woman on the planet.

“Nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels.”

I couldn’t tell you the author of this particular quote. I know it wasn’t Mae West.

I tasted about 15 different things Saturday evening at the Taste of South Jeff: Savor Sixtown that were every bit as good as being skinny.

Here’s the eternal question, “Is it worth it?”

In my honest opinion, the answer is “Yes, sometimes it’s worth it.”

Gram’s lemon meringue waffles, in particular, tasted better than being skinny.

RJ’s Catering had these little pork sandwiches I would trade any day for being skinny.

The doughnuts served at Pearl’s Pastry? Worth every extra pound.

I’ve been a size 2. Frankly, being a size 2 didn’t feel so good. Primarily what I remember about being a size 2 was feeling hungry.

I understand moderation is healthy…blah, blah, blah…

But, sometimes, in my opinion, gluttony is an important part of living.

Mae West is responsible for the quote, “Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.”

Mae understood.

Life is hard. Just the day-to-day stuff alone can wear you down.

Sometimes, a little gluttony helps you get through the day.

I guess the politically correct thing would be to provide a disclaimer stating how gluttony on a daily basis probably isn’t so good for your health. I do understand how obesity is killing the United States, one person at a time.

And, eating a bag of chips a day doesn’t exactly leave you feeling good about yourself.

Still, I would recommend shoving your face into a birthday cake on, at least, one birthday. If you’ve never shoved your whole face into a cake, it’s important. Do it.

A bucket list doesn’t have to be full of parachuting and trips to Italy.

And, excess shouldn’t be something reserved for holidays like Thanksgiving.

Find that little thing which brings you joy. Don’t do it every day. If it ceases to bring you joy, it’s not worth it.

If buying the National Enquirer is the gluttonous thing which makes you smile for a few minutes, do it.

When I was driving home from the Taste of South Jeff, I felt something cool and runny in my coat sleeve. Thinking some snow had found a way into my sleeve, I reached inside.

When I pulled my hand out of my sleeve, I had a handful of lemon meringue. When I had bitten into the lemon meringue waffle, a big dollop had landed in my coat sleeve.

I was wearing meringue.

If this isn’t gluttony, I’m not sure what is.